05/20/2025
Whole life, life insurance = BAD INVESTMENT
Ummm.. I’ll try:
1. A Roth IRA.
Because nothing says “wise investor” like not overpaying for life insurance you don’t need.
2. Literally any index fund.
Even one picked at random by a squirrel.
3. Student loan debt… and that’s saying something.
4. A Costco membership.
You’ll get more returns — and at least it comes with free samples.
5. A Pokémon card collection.
At least those gain value and don’t require a blood test.
6. Buying Bitcoin at the top of the market.
Still might beat whole life in year one.
7. A course on how to drop ship yoga pants from your parents’ basement.
8. A savings account with 0.01% APY.
Congrats — you’re only slightly less underwater!
9. Investing in your friend’s startup that sells dehydrated water.
Bold. Risky. Still might beat whole life.
10. A used Toyota Corolla.
Holds its value better, and you don’t have to die to get a payout.
11. Putting it all on red in Vegas.
At least you know it’s a gamble.
12. Paying a toddler to manage your Robinhood account.
Fees? None. Stress? Plenty. Still beats 2% returns after 20 years.
13. Buying avocado toast every day for 5 years.
Still cheaper than whole life premiums.
14. Putting cash under your mattress.
No fees. No medical exam. Zero commissions.
15. Therapy.
Because clearly, someone convinced you whole life was “an investment.”
