13/03/2023
Eat Bulaga showed a clip of "Incess, a mom who cried for her child, but not for the right reasons.
Incess: “Ace, sana mag-aral ka nang mabuti. Dahil alam kong ikaw ang makakaahon sa amin sa kahirapan.”
Maine Mendoza: “Bata pa si Ace, huwag natin ipasa sa kanya ang responsibilidad.”
Now this is not another post to shame her, because in reality, Incess is not the only one with this mindset. In fact, Incess might also be a victim of a sad mentality that was also passed down to her by her parents and society.
What we saw on national TV was a case of “The Sandwich Generation” - where people are expected to provide for their kids AND their parents leaving them in between of burdens and responsibilities.
When I talk about the sandwich generation in my seminars, I have seen many participants cry. You can see the burden they are carrying as they are obligated to support their parents even if the parents are still capable of working.
The keywords here are “obligation” and “capable.”
Before I continue, mahirap tibagin talaga ang sandwich generation. Naipasa na yan from one generation to the next, which is one of the sources of Poverty in the Philippines. One more thing, hindi ko sinasabing huwag tayo tumulong sa pamliya natin. We should! Lalo na kung may emergency. At kung ang mga magulang natin ay matanda na or nag iisa na lang sila.
But we should do it out of love, not obligation.
Kultura nating mga Pinoy na obligado tayong tumulong sa mga magulang natin kasi sila ang nagpalaki satin, nagpaaral satin, at nagpakahirap para satin.
Kaya kapag nag-asawa ka na… ang hirap! Mahirap na, maghihirap ka pa lalo kasi kung si mister su-support sa pamilya niya, si misis su-support sa pamilya niya, ilang pamilya na sinusuportahan niyo?
Hindi dalawa, tatlo na. Kasi may pamilya ka rin.
Pero imbis na matutukan natin ang pamilya natin, inuuna pa natin yung iba - ang mga magulang natin na inoobliga tayo sa mga responsibilidad nila.
Maliit pa lang yung mga anak, ang bibigat na ng responsibilidad na bitbit bitbit ng mga bata. It’s a false burden na kahit pag laki niya, dala dala pa rin niya habang buhay.
We hear stories of people who became the breadwinner of their families and came out successful. But for every story like this, how many thousands of stories turned out worse?
The help we give our families should be done out of LOVE and not out of obligation.
And as parents, let’s help our children by making sure they have enough to support their own future families.
It’s time we break the Sandwich Generation.
Source: Jayson Lo
