05/05/2026
May the 4th be with you!
Lord Sidious was ready to Force lightning the entire bookkeeping division into scrap when these droids hit me with: “Lord Sidious, we require receipts for every rivet, bolt, and washer. Also, please explain why 47,892 kyber crystals were filed under ‘team-building snacks.’”
Sidious: “IT’S A BATTLE STATION, NOT A LEMONADE STAND WITH LASERS!”
Droids: “Negative. Submit Form 47B-9 in triplicate or we flag the whole project as a personal expense.”
I was THIS close to deleting their memory cores… until today.
Turns out the Rebels tried to slip a saboteur in as a “certified structural auditor.” The droids caught the fake invoices, cross-referenced the bolt counts, and discovered the entire exhaust port weakness was from a shady subcontractor cutting corners.
They forced a full re-audit, made the contractors fix it for free, and saved the Empire 2.3 trillion credits.
Those chrome-plated nightmares actually saved the Death Star.
I hate that I’m saying this… but the bookkeeping droids are getting promotions. And a restraining bolt so they never unionize.
The Dark Side just got defeated by bureaucracy. Again.